My thoughts on Dr. Matthews’ article: How and Why it’s Important to Show Up for Your Child

We can be present for our children in many ways: turning down the TV while they’re talking to us, staying off our phones when playing a family board game, making eye contact with them while they tell us about their day. While this may seem simple in theory, its application can pose a challenge. The act of being present requires intention, persistence and consistency. So, as busy, working parents, how do we do this and why is it important?

Dona Matthews dives into Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson’s “Four S’s” and explains how “showing up for our kids” and ensuring their wellbeing in the following ways can have a significant, lifelong impact.

Safety First
Here’s how we ensure that our children are safe, seen, soothed and secure:
Keeping your child safe requires dedication and perseverance; be lovingly present by allowing your child to take risks, help them welcome their setbacks and look at these as learning opportunities!

Seeing is Believing
We all want (and need) to feel valued and understood. Feeling seen doesn’t only exist in the adult world, kids crave it too! Simply put, do your best to notice your child when they’re trying to be noticed. They’re nearly always communicating something and they want to “feel felt.”

Soothing is Loving
Comforting our children can be done in many ways. However, the act of having faith in them and their abilities can build their confidence and provide them with the comforting reassurance they need to face challenges on their own. We can soothe our children by simply allowing them to work through problems on their own, and providing loving support and guidance along the way.

Security is Reassuring
Security is critical. In fact, it’s necessary in order for kids to learn. As parents, we can provide them with security by sharing space with them and being in their presence, both physically and emotionally. Remember, the quantity of time spent with our children matters too!

Children will benefit from our presence and mindfulness. It’s been proven.
Our intentional and consistent efforts to be present and view each interaction with our child as an opportunity, will provide them with a solid foundation. Incorporate these strategies into your daily routine and you’ll foster a secure and meaningful relationship with your child and help them develop a healthy relationship with themselves.

Check out this printable guide by the creators of the “Four S’s”, Dr. Daniel J Siegel and Dr. Tina Payne Bryson.

And tell me what you think of Dr. Matthews’ article, the “Four S’s or your own experiences and feelings about being present for your children. I’d love to hear your thoughts!